


lavender shampoo, and other short stories

by galehads



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, Choi Youngjae-centric, Fluff, Im Jaebum | JB-Centric, Jackson Wang-centric, Kim Yugyeom-centric, Kunpimook Bhuwakul | BamBam-centric, Mark Tuan-centric, Park Jinyoung | Jr.-centric, Reader-Insert, by angst i mean as minimal as possible cuz my heart hurts too easily, everyone in the kpop-world is buddy-buddy, let's just assume everyone in got7 watches game of thrones, may include passing references to game of thrones cuz i can't help myself, mentions and discussions of the kpop industry, most of these don't end on sour terms cuz going to bed angry even fictionally is bad for my health, mostly fluff. really., some sex is involved but nothing so blatant or explicit cuz it's mostly implied, there probably won't be any explorations of au's or anything like that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-11
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-02-29 20:32:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18785674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galehads/pseuds/galehads
Summary: a compilation of short stories meant to explore romantic and platonic relationships involving the members of got7 - petty fights, longing, and also tender moments of quiet affection and forgiveness. an introspection on the commitment and hard work that comes along with "love".a note from the author: i'm using this work as a medium to express my pool of incessant ideas which will not leave my head until i write it down. this is in no way a real life account of anything got7 has done. everything written in this work is fiction, and is in no way meant to harm anyone or anything.while some of the concepts explored in the book may have been done before in other places, these chapters are my own hard work. the work is also available on wattpad under the same name.





	1. good night, baby (kyg)

**Author's Note:**

> in which the reader comes home to an unexpected surprise.
> 
> (completed 17/03/2019 • first posted on wattpad 24/04/2019)

you stepped in your apartment after a long day at work. it wasn't a particularly bad day but it could've been better. usually, you could come home to yugyeom, your boyfriend, and fix it all up with a cuddle session — but he was on tour, and as far as you knew, he wouldn't be back any time soon.

as you set down your keys, you noticed that some lights were on that you swore you turned off before you left this morning.

you sauntered inside, careful of intruders.

it was dark, save for the footlamp on the corner of the living room, and some lights in the kitchen. you inspected the room for signs of any missing belongings, but funnily enough, everything was in its rightful place.

_odd_ , you thought, _why wouldn't an intruder take anything?_

after thorough searches through the study as well as the guest bedroom and bathroom, you determined there was no threat in the apartment aside from one more space — your bedroom. you felt your pulse ringing through your head, and the cool of the door handle.

opening the door quietly to your room you saw a tall, gangly thing sprawled on your bed. after quickly scrutinizing the figure through the dim light from the hallway, you determined that the thing was in long flannel plaid pants and a plain white t-shirt. your heart settled considerably at the sight — you knew his figure better than anyone, and apparently, his pajama choices.

you tiptoed closer to the bed and your heart fluttered upon seeing his face. it was yugyeom, fast asleep on your side of the bed. his lips were parted as he slumbered, his breathing deep and steady.

_poor boy_ , you thought to yourself. you smiled and kissed his forehead.

"good night, yugyeom," you whispered quietly. he stirred in response, making you freeze. when he continued snoring lightly, you heaved a sigh of relief, and left the room to change into comfier clothing.

when you returned, yugyeom was still fast asleep. it has been proven futile time and time again to try to get the boy back on his side of the bed when he had already fallen asleep, so you resorted to easing yourself into his side instead. upon settling down, you closed your eyes slowly, feeling peaceful knowing that there was yugyeom finally beside you.

suddenly, you felt his weight shift and his heavy limbs on top of your abdomen. looking down, you finally met yugyeom's eyes — brown and puppy-like, ridden with sleep, softly gazing upon you.

"i missed you," he whispered.

"i missed you too," you whispered back, running your fingers through his hair, "what time did you get back?"

"maybe six. and then i changed into my pajamas and was knocked out by six thirty."

you hummed in response. that's when you noticed yugyeom's large suitcase in the corner of the room, yet to be unpacked.

"do you have anywhere to be tomorrow?" yugyeom asked, still whispering. he started leaving soft kisses on your shoulder, and laced his left hand with your right. you loved having him home.

"i can take the day off."

"good. now we can cuddle all day tomorrow."

"sounds fun," you giggled.

yugyeom's eyes were still looking up at yours, but you could see that his eyelids were starting to get heavier and heavier by the second. you brought his hand to your lips and kissed it lightly.

"i love you," you whispered.

"i love you too."

"good night, yugyeom." "good night, baby."


	2. lavender shampoo (ijb)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which the reader needs to relax.
> 
> (completed 18/04/2019 • first posted on wattpad 24/04/2019)

it was finally friday. the whole week at work was tough, and so, all of your plans for tonight was revolved solely on one activity. it was one you saved for only the most stressful of times — a bath.

as the hot water flowed into the tub, you lit some candles, put on soft jazz, and dimmed the lights. you quickly added in some of your favorite bath salts and soon, the bathroom smelled of lavender.

you watched as the steam rise from the tub.

_it should be a good temperature right now_ , you thought as you stuck your hand in the water. you proceeded to discard your bath robe, setting it neatly on the hook.

easing yourself into the water, you groaned in relief. you closed your eyes slowly — you really needed this. you felt the warm water and lavender bath salts soak into your skin.

_ah, bliss,_ you thought, as you let out a sigh.

then, a soft voice.

"comfy?"

"very," you murmured. you didn't even need to open your eyes to recognize that it was jaebum. he was finally home from work.

"i can see that," he chuckled softly, "rough day?"

"yes," you murmured again.

"can i join you?"

"yes."

you heard his clothes drop to the floor, and eventually, felt his warm hand on your shoulder. you scooted forward, leaving enough space for jaebum to lower himself into the water. he groaned in relaxation, just as you did before. jaebum pulled you lightly towards him, and your back pressed onto his chest. he held your hands as he rested his chin on the top of your head.

"comfy, grandpa?" you joked quietly.

"very, grandma," he murmured. you could feel him smile a little.

you sat together in the warm water, breathing in the lavender scent. your fingers were intertwined. ella fitzgerald was playing softly from the speakers you put on the bathroom counter.

_isn't it romantic?_

_music in the night,_

_a dream that can be heard,_

"do you want me to shampoo your hair?" jaebum asked suddenly. his voice was soft and kind. you didn't think he would suddenly offer to do this for you, but you were glad he did.

"that would be wonderful."

jaebum started softly wetting your hair, and once he was done, he reached for the nearest shampoo bottle to him. upon examining it, he hummed in amusement.

"everything had to be lavender scented, huh?"

"yeah. i'm going for relaxed as i can be," you replied, smiling a little.

"let's add patchouli, or something else if you want, into our bath product collection."

"i'm not opposed to that."

he poured the liquid into his hands and gently massaged it onto your head. you moaned in relaxation, prompting a little chuckle from his lips.

_isn't it romantic?_

_every note that's sung is like a lover's kiss_

soon, the water turned lukewarm, and it was time to wash out your hair.

"come on. let's drain this and take a warm shower," you said quietly as you lifted yourself off of the tub. as you scanned for your towel, you briefly meet jaebum's gentle gaze.

"what?" you asked quietly as you blushed.

"you are so beautiful," he murmurs.

_sweet symbols in the moonlight_

_do you mean that i will fall in love perchance?_

_isn't it romance?_

"jae, i still have shampoo in my hair," you laughed, and after a second, you remembered you were nude.

"i'm serious."

you grinned as you took his face into your hands, and proceeded to kiss his forehead, and his nose.

"thank you," you said against his forehead.

"always, darling."

"now, come on, let's shower."

_sweet symbols in the moonlight_

_do you mean that i will fall in love perchance?_

_isn't it romantic?_

_isn't it romance?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the lyrics (in italics) are from ella fitzgerald's song "isn't it romantic" if you wanted to look it up. :>


	3. dumb egg (wjs)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which the reader learns a new insult.
> 
> (completed 19/04/2019 • first posted on wattpad 24/04/2019)

"jackson, i'm telling you, it's _tom-ah-to_!" she lectured.

he could only chide in reply, "and you, darling girl, are mistaken!"

"so i'm supposed to simply _accept_ that you pronounce a tomato _to-may-to_?" she spat sarcastically.

"baby, it's the only correct way!"

she groaned before putting her head in her hands. it was like he could hear her thoughts: _this is so stupid, she would think_. but he knew deep in his bones that it was _tom-ay-to_. jackson sighed in defeat: "look — let's settle this once and for all by calling mark–"

"–no!" she cut, "he's partial to you and you _know_ it."

it was jackson's turn to groan in agony, and then he saw her head in her hands. he would be lying to himself if he said he didn't start feel bad.

 _it's just the pronunciation of_ tomato _! why does she need to be so stubborn?_   he thought. jackson turned away from her, pinched the bridge of his nose, and mumbled under his breath: " _wèi shé me nǐ nà me gù zhí?_ " ¹

" _wèi! wǒ tīng dé dǒng nǐ zài shuō shén me!_ " ²

jackson scoffed as he turned to face her, "of course you understood _tha–_ "

Suddenly, he stopped in his tracks – _why was she speaking in mandarin?_ jackson knew full well that she would talk back, but he didn't expect that it would come out in _mandarin_ , of all languages. jackson's shocked expression prompted her to sigh.

"i'm learning, okay?" she put her hands up in defeat, "please, correct me _again_ for my pronunciation!"

her furrowed eyebrows and her sneer showed her annoyance – but for jackson, her face only melted away his need to be right.

"no, no..." he trailed off, "that was perfect!"

it was her turn to be shocked. jackson gently cupped her cheeks and pulled the girl into his chest.

"it was?" she asked quietly.

"yes! it was! babygirl, i'm so proud of you!"

jackson was overjoyed – it was one more common language! a million scenarios sped through his mind: showing his parents that she could speak chinese; communicating without his members understanding; taking you to chinese language movies – the possibilities were endless! but some dots didn't connect while his brain was racing – _who was she learning with? when did she start?_

he blurted out: "wait, _zěn me yàng? wèi shé me?_ " ³

jackson waited a second for his words to comprehend in her brain: _how? why?_

"i wanted to impress your parents when they come to visit next week. you keep on saying that they already love me, but i just wanted to take it a step further."

at that moment, if cloud nine was an actual thing, jackson was far past that. his head was spinning with euphoria – _his dream girl was speaking his mother tongue!_ he couldn't stop himself from mumbling into her forehead, "i love you so much."

she giggled, " _wǒ yě ài nǐ, wǒ de bèn dàn._ " ⁴

jackson laughed. _dumb egg, huh?_ he thought.

"seriously, where did you even learn that? stop your lessons immediately, because you are learning with _me_ from now on."

"okay, you call mark then."

for a second, jackson looked at her in confusion. then in disbelief. then finally, in mock betrayal.

"you went to _mark_ first? before _me_? your ever-loving bo–"

she playfully rolled her eyes before laughing, "it was meant to be a surprise."

"interesting revelation," he said quietly as he stood up, "i'm calling mark."

jackson left her a kiss on the forehead, and walked quietly towards the kitchen, dialling his bandmate.

in the distance, the last thing she heard was, _"hyung! why did you teach her how to call me a dumb egg?!"_

later on, jackson would learn that _tom-ay-to_ was correct, but he was never gonna let it slip that _tom-ah-to_ was also right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> maybe not so much of an insult as it is an affectionate nickname. chinese is difficult and i applaud literally the billion people who speak it so fluently.
> 
> translations:
> 
> ¹ 为什么你那么固执 ? (why are you being so stubborn?)
> 
> ² 喂! 我听得懂你在说什么 ! (hey! i understood that!)
> 
> ³ 怎么样 ? 为什么 ？(how? why?)
> 
> ⁴ 我也爱你 , 我的 笨蛋. (i love you too, dummy)


	4. stood up (ijb)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which jaebum apologizes.
> 
> (completed 23/04/2019 • first posted on wattpad 24/04/2019)

opening the door to his apartment, jaebum sighed in exhaustion. practicing for the next comeback was getting gruelling, and his back was not in its best shape today. the two things he's been looking forward to all day was getting a hot shower and going to bed. he didn't have much energy to do much else — even talking seemed like a lot to ask of him.

jaebum stretched for a second and yawned before dropping his keys on the console near the front door. but he felt as though he forgot something. he patted his pockets and found the outline of his phone and wallet. his keys were already in its place, and everything in his bag seemed to be complete. jaebum brushed off the feeling as pre-comeback anxiousness.

as he took off his shoes, he called out into the apartment, "i'm home!"

_huh_ , he thinks, _no response, that's odd_.

jaebum sauntered quietly into the living room, and came across her sleeping figure on the couch. nora was curled up on her lap, the other cats were sprawled around the room. he took a second to admire her face. she had fallen asleep with her glasses on, her plump lips parted. she was breathing in slowly, and deeply.

_she has always looked the most peaceful while sleeping_ , he noted. jaebum reached down to gently lift her glasses off of the bridge of her nose, and placed it carefully on the coffee table so not to accidentally break them.

it's when he turned around to see the tv's glare showing dragons, swords, and white walkers that he realized what he had forgotten — they were supposed to watch the new game of thrones episode together.

_fuck_ , he thought, _i can't believe it went over my head like that._

jaebum glanced quickly at the wall clock above the tv. _00:33_. he cursed at himself for coming home so late. if he could get her to the bed without waking her up, she might not recall that he forgot. he prayed silently that she would stay asleep until morning.

he quietly lifted nora off her lap, and moved the cat to the arm chair opposite the coffee table. the cat continued to slumber without a care in the world. jaebum then wrapped an arm under her back, the other under her knees, and carefully lifted her towards the direction of their shared bedroom.

halfway, she stirred, and jaebum froze on instinct. she quickly realized whose arms she was in, and leapt out of his grasp.

"what were you doing?" she questioned, her tone was cold and unwelcoming.

"i was taking you to the bedroom where you can sleep properly," he replied. jaebum tried to sound concerned with his words, he didn't want to make matters worse.

"you should've just left me on the couch, since i waited so long for you to come home."

she huffed and made a beeline towards the bed, plopped on it, and faced herself away from the door.

jaebum watched as she crossed her arms in annoyance. his heart wrenched, and he walked over to her, his guilt heavy on his shoulders. jaebum kneeled when he reached her at the bed. he took hold of her right hand, and kissed it lightly.

"i'm sorry. practice ran really late."

she wouldn't make eye contact. he kissed her fingers again. no response.

"i'm sorry i also forgot that i promised to watch thrones with you."

still nothing. at this point, he grabbed hold of both hands. he whispered in desperation, tears pooling in his eyes: "please talk to me."

he cursed at himself for tearing up — but he was so tired, and that made it so difficult for jaebum to keep his emotions in check.

she huffed again, looked down into his eyes and said quietly, "i'm not mad that practice ran late, because neither of us can do anything about it."

jaebum looked down at the floor, but he continued to rub his thumbs over her hands. there was a pregnant silence before she continued.

"i'm not mad that you missed thrones, or that you've been coming home so late lately. i hate that you're being cold, and distant while everything is going on."

jaebum was stunned. comebacks were demanding in every sense — physically, mentally, emotionally — but he never thought twice about it because he knew she, of all people, would understand. suddenly, his words as of late flashed through his brain, and they all seemed dismissive and borderline rude — aloof, minimal, and gruff. he now understood why she was frustrated at him.

"come home to me, jaebum, where it's safe for you to vent," she whispers, "i'm here and i want to help you recharge and destress, and yet, you're cold and insensitive when i ask you what's wrong."

a long beat. jaebum was at a loss for words. he said to her the only words that could come out of the rock lodged in his throat: "i never meant to hurt you."

he kissed her hands again, "please forgive me."

then he heard sniffles. he looked up in panic and was almost sent into shock when he saw her crying. his heart wrenched again with guilt.

"no, no, no, i'm sorry i'm making you cry. please. i'm sorry, i love you so much."

he pulled her closer, and was relieved when she didn't resist him.

"i just wanted to love you and help you, and you stood me up, jaebum. i waited for hours."

he held her head as she buried it into his neck. when she wrapped her arms around his torso tightly, jaebum let a tear roll down his cheek in relief.

"i just missed you so much," she started rambling quietly, "and i didn't know how to help you feel better, and i felt like it was my fault because you wouldn't talk to me."

"baby, it wasn't your fault, please don't cry," he cooed, despite being close to sobbing.

"i just thought thrones would be something we could do together," she sniffled, "i didn't want to make it worse by crying like this."

"you didn't. we needed this."

"but we're a sobbing mess."

he pulled away slightly to look into her eyes and chuckled quietly, "yeah and that's okay. we have each other and that's all that matters. it'll all be okay. we'll be better."

she leaned her forehead into his, and soon, her lips were pressed on his.

when they parted, jaebum's lips traveled upwards — to her nose, then to her forehead. the two stayed in each other's arms, relieved that they found their way back to each other.

"if you were gonna miss thrones, you could've at least called, you know." she murmured softly. he smiled.

"i know. i'm sorry."

"it's alright. i recorded it for you."

his heart swelled, and he couldn't resist the urge to kiss her again.

"i love you so much."

"i love you too."


	5. bloody vegetables (pjy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which jinyoung accidentally cuts his finger.
> 
> (first written 05/05/2019 • completed 11/05/2019)

"i'm home!" you hollered into the apartment.

"oh– fuck!"

jinyoung cursing was not something you expected to hear when you announced your arrival at home. you felt your body flash with panic — suddenly it was both hot and cold. there are so many things that could go wrong at this very moment.

you quickly slipped off your shoes and padded towards the sound of jinyoung's voice. you found him in the kitchen, clutching at his bloody finger, his face twisted with pain.

"jinyoung..." you trailed off, pulling him towards the sink where you rinsed the red off of his finger, "what happened?"

"you startled me when you came home, and i accidentally cut my finger," he murmured.

once the blood stopped running, jinyoung shut off the tap, and shuffled away to lean on the kitchen island. his face was a mix of perplexed, relieved, worried, and also, slightly pained. you chuckled quietly to yourself while you reached for the first aid kit you kept in a nearby drawer.

you approached him with the contents of the kit — rubbing alcohol, wads of cotton and two bandages — and set them down on the granite behind him.

you chided, "give me your finger."

when you saw him biting his lip, you added, "jinyoungie, come on, you don't want that to get infected, do you?"

he hesitated for a second before giving you his finger. you poured some alcohol on the cotton wad before dabbing it lightly at his cut. jinyoung seethed, and grabbed at your arm. you rubbed your thumbs lightly over his hand as you continued to disinfect his finger.

soon, you deemed your work to be satisfactory and moved to discard the cotton wad.

"and that's that," you said with a smile.

you reached past jinyoung for the two bandages, and smiled at him while offering his choices:

"hulk or ironman?"

he smiled a dimpled smile before picking the hulk. you wrapped the bandage carefully around his finger, and kissed his cheek when you were done.

"all better," you smiled. jinyoung slowly snaked his arms around your waist and pulled you closer, pressing his lips on your forehead.

"thank you," he murmured.

"no big deal, baby," you replied, "what were you doing with the knife anyway?"

it was a second after he opened his mouth when words actually came out of it.

"today is our anniversary."

it was when you saw the mess behind him that it occurred to you: he was prepping to cook.

"but we didn't officially become a couple until may?"

"the anniversary of our first date, dummy. i wanted to cook you something nice."

honestly, you've had trouble placing when your anniversary with jinyoung was — the two of you started going on casual dates for about two months until he actually asked you to be his, and his only. before this, it was murky to you if he wanted to celebrate your anniversary being officially a couple, or your anniversary of going out together, and you were concerned that you might sound like a terrible girlfriend if you had to ask.

but now, it was clear that you could have it both ways — you chuckled lightly before pulling him closer.

"thank you for being so thoughtful, nyoungie."

you could feel the heat creeping up his cheeks, and you ended up blushing too. he made you feel so warm, like holding out your hands to a familiar hearth. nothing right now could spoil your mood — not even the mess behind jinyoung.

"come, let's clean up," you said.

and what a mess it was — his blood was all over the asparagus he was cutting, and also somehow all over the other vegetables he hasn't even started with yet.

"if you have extra ingredients, i can help you," you remarked.

he smiled in embarrasment before adding, "those were the only ones i bought, and we have nothing in the fridge."

you chuckled in response.

"then that's okay, we'll clean this up and order takeout."

after a couple hours, the two of you were sat around the coffee table in front of the tv, enjoying game of thrones, jjajangmyeon and a bottle of peach soju you had lying around.

frankly, you were content — spending quality time with jinyoung was exactly what you could've ever wanted for tonight. but as you looked over at him, you noticed his glum posture. he was picking at his noodles with disinterest. jinyoung seemed fazed and burdened, and it bothered you.

"nyoung, what's wrong? why aren't you eating your noodles?"

he looked up at your eyes for a second and he hesitated.

there was a beat before he sighed, "it's nothing..."

jinyoung looked down again at his noodes and continued to pick at it. there was a sourness in hearing those words, and your heart twisted. you had never liked seeing him in self-pity — it didn't happen often, but it happened frequently enough that you knew you hated seeing him clam up this way. immediately, you felt your face soften, and concluded that what jinyoung needed was to be cuddled.

"hey," you cooed, "it's okay, you can tell me what's wrong..."

you scooted towards jinyoung and set yourself on his lap, where he welcomed you by resting his hands on your hips. you gently cupped his cheeks and lifted his face so he would meet your eyes. as you gazed softly at him, you saw the anxiety pooling in his irises, and it threatened to spill at any moment.

you couldn't help but want to pepper his face in tender kisses, and you hoped your affection would ease his worries more than it did yours. so you did: his forehead, then his nose, his two cheeks, and finally, his lips. to your relief, he kissed back with an equal gentleness.

once you parted, he murmured quietly against your lips, "i'm sorry i couldn't make you a nice dinner."

"hey, it's alright..." you cooed again, "accidents happen, jinyoung. it's nothing practice can't fix."

"i really wanted it to be a surprise," jinyoung sighed.

you moved your lips upwards to his forehead, where you kissed it again.

"and i appreciate you and your efforts, so much..." you continued, "but i don't care if we dine with the royal family of japan, or if we have takeout, or if we're enjoying the 1000 won-est bottle of soju or the most expensive wine our money can afford. all that matters and all that i care about is that i have you, you have me, and that we will love each other way past the time the world ceases to exist."

you paused for a second before you whispered again against his forehead, "thank you, so, so much. this means the world to me. _you mean the world to me_."

placing his hand on your right cheek, he brought your face level with his, the plastic of his hulk-patterned bandage cold on your skin. jinyoung's lips hovered over yours when he whispered in reply.

"i love you."

you leaned forward and kissed him again. when you did, a sense of peace and relief rushed through your body in waves. this, you decided, was where you wanted to be forever — in his arms. for all you cared, the world could end, but as long as you had him, you knew that everything would be alright.

"i love you, too, jinyoung."  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and all that intense emotion and mush leads to slow and gentle, but passionate sex – the kind that you can imagine goes along with the song i'm linking below. they wake up the next morning in each others' arms, tangled in their sheets.
> 
> i'm thinking of writing what happens as they wake up. maybe keep an eye out for it.
> 
> the song is in indonesian: "dialog hujan" by senar senja. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Ko9QshUOP8)


	6. did you even need to ask? (pjy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which the reader wakes up in jinyoung's arms.
> 
> a continuation to chapter 5, bloody vegetables.
> 
> (completed 16/05/2019 • first posted on ao3 16/05/2019)

the first thing you noticed when you woke was the sunlight. ethereal yellow rays streaked through the curtains, and they greeted you good morning. its glow was warm on your skin and you were glad it was so, for the second thing you noticed was that you were nude. well, save for the sheet covering your body.

there was an ache on your thighs that you didn't know how to explain why it made you feel good. it was that kind of good feeling that made your stomach warm. that's when you noticed the third thing — aside the sunlight, there was a different kind of warmth on your body. this different warmth radiated from another person.

his heavy, muscular arms were wrapped around your waist, and yours were resting on his chest. as you shifted slightly from your original position, you soaked in his features: sharp eyes, high cheekbones, plump lips, raven hair.

_jinyoung._

you watched him as he breathed in and out deeply, slumbering in peace. his mouth was slightly agape, and you felt his chest rise and fall with every breath. the sunlight illuminated his skin in the most wonderful shade of golden. you concluded then and there: he was beautiful.

memories of the night before breezed through you as you noticed a fourth thing: a hulk-patterned bandage on jinyoung's left forefinger. he had attempted to cook a dinner to celebrate the anniversary of your first date, and accidentally cut his finger when you came home a tad too early.

"all that matters and all that i care about is that i have you, you have me, and that we will love each other way past the time the world ceases to exist," you remembered whispering to him.

he kissed you with gentleness, but there was also an urgency lingering on his lips, like the slight taste of peach soju. when he pulled away, he said, "i'm sorry. it was hard to sit here and not kiss you."

you laughed a little, "what is there to be sorry for?"

your lips traveled down from his lips to his jaw, then to his neck, and then his collarbone.

clothes were peeled off. one by one.

as the both of you laid on your bed, tangled in sweat between the sheets, you laid out plans for the future — children, a home where they could grow up near where both sets of grandparents lived, a little dog with a little bell on its collar. jinyoung listened to you ramble in half-consciousness as he raced invisible lines along your back, his touch remained tender and soothing. you heard his occasional _mhm_ and little chuckles as you spoke, and soon, you drifted to sleep.

the one thought you remembered having before your eyes closed was that you were _certain_ that jinyoung was the love of your life.

suddenly, your thoughts were interrupted as you felt your hand being lifted from its resting position and upwards. you looked up to see jinyoung's brown eyes gazing right back at you, a gentle smile bringing out his dimples. he slowly brought your hand to his lips and kissed it.

"good morning," he whispered quietly.

"good morning to you, too, nyoungie," you replied, moving up to kiss his nose, "how did you sleep?"

"in your arms? like a baby."

"that's a relief," you laughed as you pressed another kiss onto his forehead, "i mean, what we did last night was tiring work."

jinyoung chuckled at you as he started tracing his fingers on your back again.

"about last night..." he mentioned, trailing off.

"jinyoung, takeout is really no big deal, i already told you-"

"-no, no that's not what i meant!" he laughed, "no, before we went to sleep, when you were laying out all of these grand plans for us..."

"yeah?" you said, "what about them?"

you could feel your heart sink. jinyoung hasn't said anything yet but a million questions flashed through your mind: _what if he isn't ready? what if all of that scared him? what if he doesn't want_ any _of it?_

you held your breath as he opened his mouth to speak. and then he closed his mouth again and peeled himself off of you to quickly shove on last night's underwear.

"wait here for a sec."

he left you confused as he entered your shared closet, and soon, he emerged from it only to lean on the doorway. on his hand was something small and maroon.

you squinted, and cursed your myopia when you still couldn't discern what it was that he was holding. he laughed playfully as you beckoned him closer while reaching for your glasses on the night stand. jinyoung made a beeline towards the bed, and sat himself right next to you.

with your glasses finally on, he showed you the content of his hands — a little velvet box.

you felt your heart stop.

his free hand lifted the lid, and inside was simply the most breathtaking princess cut diamond ring. the stone rested atop a plain silver band — it wasn't big, but it sure did demand the beholder's attention. it sparkled in the sunlight, but the tears that pooled in your eyes made it even more mesmerising.

"just thought we could get started on those plans," he said, quietly.

no words could leave your open mouth. in the end, you forced yourself to speak. 

"how long have you had this?" you asked, hoping your words didn't seem as choked up as you thought.

"for a couple months now. i was just waiting for the right moment."

"and right now was just the most perfect timing?" you laughed, lifting your glasses to wipe off your tears. he chuckled again before he placed his lips on your temple.

"with you, it's always the right time."

you let some tears drop down from your cheek, then he opened his mouth to continue.

"i knew loved you since the day you said you'd be mine. it wasn't long after when i realized that i wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with you," he said, "but i was scared that you would feel that it's a little too soon, and so i decided to wait — i'd wait for a thousand years, to be honest."

you laughed a little in between sobs, before reaching out to cup his cheek, to which jinyoung nuzzled into your touch.

"you're my best friend and you're the only person i'll ever need. you're the single largest reason why i love the life i live. i can't imagine doing all those plans with anyone but you. i love you so so much," he said quietly before getting up off of the bed. jinyoung slowly kneeled before you.

"so? will you marry me?" he finally asked. there was a glimmer of hope in his eyes that made your heart almost burst out of your chest.

"did you even need to ask?" you giggled. you saw him widen his eyes incredulously — he was expecting a proper reply. you laughed again before saying, "yes, of course! yes!"

jinyoung broke into a wide smile, and slipped the ring onto your left ring finger. he gathered your face in his hands and lovingly leaned his lips into yours. your heart swelled in your chest as you felt the relief in his kiss.

"i love you," you whispered once you pulled away, "so _so_ much."

you saw the wrinkles forming around his eyes — the one that comes out when he smiles. he grinned again before murmuring, "i love you too. i can't wait for the rest of our lives together."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> after i wrote the last chapter, this idea of what happened afterwards wouldn't leave my brain. i guess i wrote this for my peace of mind, haha.


	7. chocolate (wjs)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> where the reader finds comfort in jackson, and in chocolate.
> 
> (completed 15/07/2019 • first posted on ao3 15/07/2019)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my math exam a month ago went bad and i tried to make myself feel better by writing it. i never got around to editing the rough work until this week. i hope you enjoy.
> 
> edit: i added a tiny epilogue at the end notes. just felt it addressed some things in the chapter. :>

to say you were clueless at this very moment would be an understatement — you were _dumbfounded_.

how was it that after practicing for _days_ on end, you couldn’t solve this statistics problem written on the exam in front of you? there was barely ten minutes left of the exam and there was at least a third of the questions still completely blank.

after barely coming out of your apartment, sacrificing your social life, food and sleep in order to practice, _this_ is what that perseverance amounted to? you couldn’t accept that. you resolved to scrawl away whatever formulas and methods came across your mind. 

 _screw being correct!_ you thought, _i just need to attempt solving as many problems as i can._

hot tears welled up in your eyes as you wrote, and you willed yourself so that they wouldn’t start running down your cheeks. you couldn’t afford a ruined exam paper.

* * *

 

in your apartment just a couple miles away, jackson came out of the bathroom, drying off after a hot shower. he watched the steam rise from towards the ceiling, and moved to turn on the fan. 

as he changed into his clothes, jackson noted how much he enjoyed being this leisurely. to be frank, he couldn’t remember when he last had a day off like today — just lounging around at home, taking things slow. he always lived such a fast-paced life, flying from one place to another every other day. it was nice being able to rest.

for some reason, he felt the urge to spend the entire day on the couch. again, he was never really a homebody — unlike youngjae, who probably wouldn’t come out of his apartment even if the world had ended — but the throw pillows and plush settee was really calling to him.

so he did.

jackson settled on the couch, and started flicking through some tv channels. he stopped briefly on hbo upon seeing game of thrones. the man never cared for fantasy, but the sword fights seemed quite compelling on this specific episode — apparently today was a day for him to explore things he usually wouldn’t do. after all, he knew you liked this show, and it would be nice to have more things in common with each other.

 _wouldn’t hurt to watch just a little bit_ , he thought. jackson stared absentmindedly at the television as swords clamored together, fighting till the death.

and then he felt his eyelids grow heavy. jackson fell fast asleep before he knew it — sprawled on the couch, snoring like a motorcycle.

how his bandmates would've laughed.

* * *

 

it took all of your mental strength to keep from crying on your way home from the exam.

 _keep it together_ , you chanted quietly as you plodded home. you needed to keep a slow pace, because from experience, pushing past people to get by quicker would only cause you to bump into them. this, in turn, could make you drop your stuff, resulting in tears welling up faster than they should.

you were suddenly really grateful your mom made you choose an apartment only a five minute walk to most of your classes — you couldn't bear to have your classmates see you in this state. you huffed as you entered your building and plodded again into the elevator. gripping your books a little tighter, you were frustrated at yourself for not being able to answer most of the exam. you hated feeling so helpless. you hated working so hard only to flop so miserably. you hated today. you hated this class. you hated yourself. you hated _everything_.

suddenly, you felt as if your bag was heavier. it was harder to lift your feet so they'd move. the air felt stuffy, and it was difficult to breathe. your throat started to clump. the hallway around you started to spin.

that's when you saw your front door.

your throat closed up even more as you held in your tears, and you scrambled to open the door in a desperate attempt to break down in private instead of in public.

 _the door_ , you panicked.

_which key is it?_

you fumbled with your keychain, trying them all quickly.

_why won't any of these fucking keys work?!_

your eyes start to fog and your breathing gets ragged.

_FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!_

the door suddenly swung open. you fell forward in surprise, but you are caught by strong arms before you could collapse to the floor. they led you down slowly onto the floor so you wouldn't hurt yourself.

_jackson._

you couldn't even look at his face before you started to bawl into his shirt.

"babygirl, look at me," he coaxed quietly as he sat you down on the floor,  "look at me."

you hesitated before you looked up from his chest, and met the worry in the curl of his frown. his pink lips were twisted to form words you couldn’t hear. somehow, despite all the tears inhibiting your vision, you could see that his brown eyes were gentle. soft.

_he just needed you to be okay._

your hearing was muffled by the panic, but you knew what he was saying when you focused on his lips.

"breathe with me, alright? one deep breath in."

he sucked in a breath, and you followed suit.

_1… 2… 3… 4…_

"and out."

_6… 7… 8… 9…_

"one more time, sweetheart, you're doing so well," he whispered. you inhaled as he did, and out as he did.

five deep breaths later, you had managed to phase out the panic. jackson had to coax you off the floor and laid you down on your couch. he turned on the tv, and flicked over to hbo. game of thrones was still on.

"stay here, close your eyes if you want to," he soothed before leaving a gentle kiss on the crown of your head, "i'll be right back."

jackson turned around to check on you, just in case. you were watching the screen, but your eyes seemed to stare off into the distance. you weren't paying attention to what was happening on this new thrones episode. it was at that moment that he realized something was truly wrong. he took long strides into the kitchen, immediately fetching your emergency pint of chocolate ice cream, a carton of chocolate milk, two spoons and a mug.

when jackson returned to the living room, you sat up knowing what he brought you. you made grabby hands for them.

"which one first?" he laughed quietly.

"milk, please."

jackson calmly poured the milk into the mug and handed it to you. without hesitation, you drank the milk in large gulps, finishing it faster than your boyfriend could sit down next to you after setting aside the ice cream. he could only laugh again: "slowly, you're going to get a stomach ache if you drink the milk too fast."

you nodded gingerly, eyes closed, as you reached for the ice cream. you shoved a spoonful in your mouth before inspecting the flavor. ben and jerry's chocolate fudge brownie. your favorite.

"was it the exam?"

you nodded again.

"bad?"

you couldn't meet his eyes, and so you missed the way his face moved to a small smile.

“do you need to cry about it?”

“not as much anymore," you replied as you picked at the ice cream, "most of the tears came out when i broke down at the door."

there was a beat.

"do you need a cuddle?"

you didn’t even need to say anything. jackson saw you look down at the rug before pulling you closer to him. you ended up sitting in between his legs, settled into his torso. jackson lifted the pint of ice cream then passed it to you.

soon, you felt your tears dry and eyesight clearing up. your breathing returned to its regular pace. the world stopped spinning. jackson's steady heartbeat calmed you down.

you don't know what you'd do without him. 

"thank you, jacks," you mumble as you nuzzled further into his chest.

“whatever for?”

”for making me feel safe, and loved.”

he chuckled before leaving a kiss on your forehead, "anything for you."

”no, i mean it, jacks,” you chided.

”and i mean it too. panic attacks, sicknesses, failures. i’ll cross oceans to be there when you need me, as i’m sure you’d do the same for me.”

you couldn’t resist kissing him after you saw the gentle smile lingering on his lips, ”i love you so much.”

”i love you too, babygirl.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "what were you doing when I had the panic attack outside the door?"
> 
> "i was napping on the couch."
> 
> "did I wake you?"
> 
> "yeah but i'm glad you did. i wouldn't want you to suffer out there alone."
> 
> "… i don’t deserve you."
> 
> jackson threw his head back in laughter, as if it was the most absurd thing he's ever heard. once he stopped, he cupped your face in his gentle hands, and whispered, "so we're even. i don't deserve you either."
> 
> you felt jackson smile when you leaned in for a kiss. you really did not deserve him.


End file.
